The Love of His Life
by mharawolenczak
Summary: Why did they make Nathan in love with Wendy in S2 when we all know he loved Kristin more than life itself? THIS EXPLAINS THAT TRIPE! :  Ties into my "Wave Over Wave" but is a solo read :


Captain Bridger had finally gone crazy. It had been a year since SeaQuest had returned from Hyperion, and he was still looking for his son. He'd had several falling outs since then with his surrogate son Lucas but they had made up each time (the longest fight being a continuing argument about Lucas' enlistment and Nathan's constantly shifting opinion on it). The biggest and most important event of the year had been his reunion with Kristin. After he almost died from exposure to the mutated Firma 21 strand, he had re-evaluated his priorities. When he thought he was dying, four faces had occupied his thoughts.

The first was Michael. Who would look after him now? The second was Robert. Would Robert come out of hiding once Nathan was gone? The third was Lucas. He felt bad about arguing with him and criticizing the boy. He loved Lucas almost as much as he loved Robert – if not more. The final and probably the most crucial was Kristin. He spent more time thinking of her in those moments than the other three put together.

One of the first things he did when he got topside was to go and look up her information. He found out that she was working with Malcolm Lansdowne on some dolphin research. He had felt heart broken at the idea that she had ended up with Malcolm but he wasn't too surprised. He'd left it alone then, until a few months ago when he ran into them both at a science conference. It was there, over a bottle of scotch that he had revealed to Downy his sadness at losing Kristin and offered his congratulations. Nathan had almost punched Downy when he started laughing but was glad he didn't when Downy told him that Kristin was still hung up on him and had been single since Nathan had disappeared. .

Nathan had tore out of there and up to Kristin's room in what seemed like seconds. That night they finally faced their feelings for each other and had been together ever since. He knew Kristin wanted to get married, but she understood his need to find Robert first.

So here he was. Sitting with some of the UEO's finest telepaths, in the hopes that they might be able to help him find Robert. Sitting there staring at the telepath Savannah (who had helped mediate the Alexandra Library) thinking how beautiful she was and how badly he wished to be with her.

He decided he'd officially lost it. He'd finally ended up with Kristin, _his Kristin_, and he was eye balling another girl.

His train of thought was brought to a halt when the lead telepath called a break in the meeting. They all got up to grab a coffee and stretch their legs while Nathan remained sitting, getting further lost in his thoughts.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" Nathan looked up to see one of the older telepaths standing beside him.

"Of course," replied Nathan, standing to pull the chair out for her.

"Thank you. You know captain, I hope you don't mind but I couldn't help overhear your thoughts and I wondered if you might allow me to speak on them."

Nathan looked at the woman indignantly. How dare she invade his mind? What business of it was hers? He was about to reply when she spoke again.

"I realize it is a bit invasive but as I said, I couldn't help but overhear and I believe I may be able to shed some light on the situation."

Nathan frowned. What could she possible have to say? Curiosity got the best of him though and he asked her to continue.

"You are aware captain of your telepathic tendencies are you not?"

"Yes," replied Nathan. "Savannah," he gestured to the woman across the room, "told me about them and gave me a slight introduction. I have to say though; I don't think they're going to help find Robert."

The woman laughed. "Well that's not exactly where I was going with this. You see, telepaths generally start out as empathic. They can read emotions, and feel what another person is feeling. They evolve slowly, learning to read minds and move objects, but they can also project their minds, something I believe you encountered with Wendy."

Nathan looked a bit taken aback. "You knew Wendy?"

"I was her teacher once. Before she got involved with Clay," the woman frowned, as did Nathan at the mention of the madman who had almost killed Lucas and Dagwood.

"I did not know that," the woman said quietly. "I'm surprised you were willing to come near telepaths after Clay."

"It's hard, but Wendy proved to me not all telepaths are psychotic."

She smiled. "Yes well as I was saying. Telepaths can project their minds sometimes, but what they don't always know is that they can project emotions."

"Emotions?" the captain asked confused.

"Yes. Emotions. They can learn to make another person feel their own emotions, but they don't always know they're doing it. It is usually on a small enough scale that they don't really affect other people, only other telepaths pick up on it and they block it. Once it becomes a bigger talent it starts blending in with conscious mind control of another human being-like what Clay did to Dagwood."

The captain wondered what this had to do with anything.

The older woman smiled again. "It has to do with everything captain. As I said most telepaths can block it, but only if they have been trained to recognize the difference between their feelings and another person's. It can happen that a mild telepath, or mild empath, who has no training, can pick up the feelings of another telepath and mistake them for their own."

Realization slowly dawned on Nathan's face. "So you're saying the feelings that I have for Savannah are because…" he tailed off.

"Because she is attracted to you, and you are experiencing her feelings through empathy."

Nathan looked at her with disbelief.

"Captain, she's telling the truth. I didn't know that could happen, but I can tell you that she isn't lying." Nathan turned around to find Savannah standing behind him.

"I apologize captain, I had meant to stay out of your mind this time," she smiled at him playfully.

Nathan looked back and forth between the two of them. "Well I'm glad someone did."

"Stayed out or went inside?" the older woman laughed.

_Does mean what I felt for Wendy was false?_

"I'm afraid captain that is something only you can answer. I have never seen you with Wendy, so I cannot tell you who was feeling what."

"But you can tell with me and Savannah?"

"When you've been doing this as long as I have, you learn."

The rest of the group had returned to the table and they began to speak again about Robert and the hunt to find him.

Later that night, when Nathan had returned to his island, he stood staring out in the dark. It was not the ocean that had his attention, as was usually the case, but the stars.

_Did I really love you Wendy? Or was it all just an echo of your own mind? Did you even know empaths could do that? _

Nathan thought back to the first time he met Wendy. She was attractive, but slightly annoying. Did he really love her? _Does it matter?_

"Penny for your thoughts?" a British voice whispered huskily in his ear as arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

"Just… thinking," Nathan replied, pulling her in front of him and pressing her to his chest. They stood there for a moment staring out at the water before Nathan closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. He breathed in the sweet smell of her shampoo and made up his mind. He had loved Wendy. He was sad that she had died. But it wasn't the same as Carol. Wendy's death did not break him, not the way Carol's had. _Not the way Kristin's would_, he thought.

Looking back up at the sky, he pulled the second love of his life, perhaps the greatest love, closer to his chest.

Kristin stood there silently, knowing that Nathan, _her_ _Nathan_, needed to let go of whatever had been holding onto him.

Looking down into her eyes he smiled.

"I believe you had some wedding invitations to show me?"

As they turned to walk back to the house, Kristin talked about the wedding. The invitations, the cake, everything. Pausing at the doorway, Nathan took one last look up to the stars before he went inside, whispering as he went.

"Goodbye."


End file.
